Series: Reflection points and effects on taking extended time off from 'work'
On October 9th, 2019, I left my role as CEO of a company I put my heart and soul into for almost a decade. It was a tremendously rewarding experience and I will forever be grateful to Brooks, the founder, and many people along the way who believed in me.
My last year at the company was quite stressful. I thought I was ok during that time. My wife would ask me often, “How are you doing?” and my response was typically “fine.” Because I felt that way. Because I was regularly in a state of heightened awareness, thinking about the business and people, etc, and constant stress was the norm for me.
Because I have had the rare opportunity to take months off, I want to share some points of reflection and the impact this time has had on me. If you are in a state of non-stop hustling and thinking constantly about work, hopefully this series will be helpful or at least thought provoking.
Reflection Point #1. I did not know how stressed I was and it was a slow process to realize it.
In the book “Breaking the habit of being yourself” by Dr Joe Dispenza, he makes a point that people who are in a regular state of stress always manage to find ways to get back into a state of stress. You probably know people who are always involved in drama or are perpetually frazzled. Just when they catch a break—like clockwork these people find drama or a new problematic situation. WHY? There is a reason this happens. When you are in a state of regular stress for a long time, that becomes the norm for you and you subconsciously take action to get back to that tense feeling.
Upon reflection, I realize now that during what I will call my ‘stressed’ state, I exhibited the following symptoms:
Sometimes sitting and staring at something and ask myself “Am I really here?”
Drinking alcohol more frequently than I should
Losing patience with my family and myself
Feeling disconnected from my personal life on weekends and vacations.
Feeling exhausted by 8:30 pm during the week.
It took me about two months of not ‘working’ to feel like I decompressed. It might take others much less time. It just took me a while for that sensation of consistent pressure to dissipate.
If you have been working hard and pushing yourself for many years in a row,real you may not realize the state you are in unless you have the time and opportunity to stop and reflect.
Do I feel different now? Absolutely.
In my next post, I will share more about what I learned during my time away from work.