Series: How to overcome fear of public speaking. Part 1
Target audience: people who are terrified of public speaking and want to know how to overcome the fear of public speaking.
Background: English was my second language and I was very shy growing up, especially with non-Japanese speakers. I always believed that I would never be comfortable nor good at speaking in front of an audience. Public speaking fear was paralyzing. In grad school in my early thirties, I took my first class in public speaking and through practice, I was able to gain control of my anxiety and emotions before and during talking in front of an audience. I share this post because I hope that my story and few tips will give someone hope who feels they are incapable of getting over the paralyzing fear of public speaking.
Getting to the point: You are totally capable of speaking in front of a big audience and I hope to increase your confidence in your capabilities. Over time, the level of anxiety with public speaking will go down. However, you will most likely not ever completely get over your fear. I have only met a handful of people who say they do not get nervous at all before they get up on stage or speak in front of a large audience. Do not be discouraged by this—it is normal! I will explain in a later post how getting nervous is actually a good thing!
There are a wealth of strategies around this topic if you google “how to overcome fear of public speaking” so I am going to try to share a unique perspective based off my personal experience.
My approach to public speaking can be summed up in three words—believe, practice, and give.
1) It is most important that you believe that you are capable of confidently speaking in front of an audience. Your mindset is so critical in raising your game in all aspects of your life, and public speaking is no exception. Belief may not come naturally but it can be cultivated through encouraging your own positive inner monologue. Positive self-talk is what you say about yourself in your head and it has a real impact on your feelings and behavior. Examples of positive self-talk are phrases like, “I can learn to improve my speaking skills. I have important things to say. I can make mistakes and still be a good speaker.” Negative self-talk—”I am a bad speaker, everyone else is better at this, no one cares what I say”—has the opposite effect and you can discourage this voice in your head by being aware of it and replacing it with more positive, helpful phrases.
For example, memory coaches and math teachers often emphasize the importance of fostering a positive, inner monologue. A lot of people say without thinking that they are “terrible with names” or “never good with math.” While these are skills that may seem to develop more easily in some people than others, these are both skill sets where everyone can improve with confidence and practice. Check out my quick video below of why you can and must change your mindset.
Is my podium story not compelling enough? I recently saw this Ted Talk by Safwat Saleem. If you have a hard time believing you can speak in front of an audience, watch his clip!
2) Force yourself to practice. I understand many people do not have the opportunity to speak in front of an audience. If becoming comfortable speaking in front of an audience is a necessary part of your career progression or a personal goal, I suggest force practicing now. Look for opportunities in your work and in your private life that allow for any public speaking—even to small audiences. For example, you can offer to present to a client, participate in a presentation for your church, give a toast at a social event, or make a brief welcoming or farewell speech for a colleague.
3) Shift the focus of your public speaking to giving rather than trying to look smart. Many people get nervous presenting to an audience because they fear what they share does not have value. Unfortunately, this is often the case. If you can create value for the audience, you will be less nervous. Most of the time, you will still be a little (or a lot!) nervous and you should expect this and use the energy to focus on the presentation. When I focus on giving value to the audience versus focusing on myself to not screw up or look smart, I feel a lot less anxious. Try it!
This fear of public speaking was so overwhelming for me for so much of my life and I hope that those who relate may feel just a little bit more confident about overcoming their reluctance to speak in front of an audience. I learned that with practice, I could build my own confidence in skill.
You are capable and you have to believe in yourself. Find ways to force practice. Shift the focus from you to giving the audience value.